Resilience – We grow through what we go through
In my 20’s and early thirties I had a big and beautiful garden🌷 It gave back to me more than anything else in my life at that time.. well, a puppy came a close second.. then my kids came along so my perspective changed a little (!), but there was nothing like the feeling of getting completely ‘lost’ in that garden (to be honest, you could get lost as it was 13 acres!) 😆
Then when I got divorced and moved house I imagined getting stuck into my new garden straight away 🌿 But something strange happened.. after the initial excitement of seeing what was growing and what treasures I could find under patches of weeds and brambles, I didn’t want to touch it. I had to force myself to go out there 👀
Don’t be scared to feel the feels… it helps build resilience
In my head I told myself I needed to sort the house first.. which allowed me to neglect the garden for 3 years! 🙈 But now I’ve realised I was reluctant to throw myself in and fully embrace it because I felt like I was betraying my old beautiful garden 🥺 Sounds silly but it’s true!
Also I was scared that if I let myself FEEL the way I used to feel, watching things grow 🌱 and getting pleasure from their beauty🌹.. that I would MISS what I’d once loved and worked so hard for. It’s funny – I managed to let go of the house (just), let go of the relationship (thankfully) but for some reason that garden will always be a part of me. And that’s just fine 🤗
It was a labour of love. Seeing it thrive every summer after months of hard graft really did touch my soul. 🥰 It gave back. The artist in me called it ‘painting with plants’ and a part of me even wanted to be a garden designer one day! 😆
Letting go & moving forward
I’ve long since let go of that idea, but my love of gardening is still there. So I realise, not only was I neglecting my new garden but also I have been neglecting a part of ME since moving house. Well, no more!! 👊 I’ve rediscovered my love of growing things 🌱 You have no idea how excited I am that my cucumber plant has babies on it!! It’s time to move on and embrace the new 🤗 . It’s just another way for me to let go. It’s just another way to build resilience.
Take the lessons
By taking the lessons and being grateful for, not resentful of, our past life we can take the good bits and move on. And because we GROW through what we GO through, we are all the stronger for it.💪 The difficult growth through a challenge builds our resilience for the future which allows us to move forwards with confidence 👉 We are thrown challenges for a reason and often there’s something even better waiting for us, we just don’t know it yet!
Staying in tune with yourself helps build resilience
So it’s key to stay aware of, rather than bury our feelings. When did we start giving more to others than we do to ourselves? When did we start ignoring our own feelings for the sake of our job or other responsibilities? When did we start mindlessly DOING instead of BEING? 👀 Sometimes it’s because we are trying to distract ourselves from a harsh reality.. and if we keep busy we won’t let the pain in. But this is a sure fire way to burn out as when we bury a problem, we can’t solve it and we can’t grow from it. Growth builds resilience.
We can’t pour from an empty cup.
Find some HEALTHY HABITs to fill yours up!
As adults we can be so busy or distracted that we often put our own needs to the bottom of the pile, but we all know we can’t function at our best if we are depleted 😐 For some tips on self-care and creating healthy habits, see this related post.
We are all a combination of our emotional wellbeing (mental health) and our physical health. These things fluctuate, often in relation to each other 💫 To become aware of both, try giving them a score out of 10… go on, do it right now!
Are they off balance? What needs to change to improve those scores? Have a think… For a start – are you getting enough sleep, hydration, nourishment and positive human contact? 🤔 You see, every change starts with awareness.
Ways to build resilience
How many of these self-care rituals can you do in a week?
✨ Get aware of yourself, listen to your body. Breathe deeply, close your eyes.
✨ Be kind to yourself. Notice how you are talking to yourself and change anything negative into a positive
✨ Take some time out. Get back to what truly calms and lights up your soul by doing a favourite past-time – whether it’s reading, knitting, self-development or tending those plants you’re growing
✨ Go for a walk to feel alive and refreshed. What can you see? What can you hear?
✨ Put on some uplifting music. Sing, dance, or get creative🤸♀️ How does it feel… in your heart, in your head, in your legs?
✨ Make yourself a nourishing meal. Notice the smell. Notice the taste. Appreciate the good that the food is doing you.
✨ Call a friend, even if it’s for a grumble. Communication and connection are vital, so don’t forget to check in on others too as kindness gives back in so many ways.
For some tips about self-care and staying aware of ourselves then see this related post.
For some more self-care ideas check out my FREE download below…
If you’re having a down day, just know that this will pass. Become aware of how you WANT to feel tomorrow and FOCUS your energies on that ✨ This will help build resilience.
IF IT COSTS YOU YOUR PEACE IT’S TOO EXPENSIVE
Too True
Be kind to yourself, release the expectation
Looking after ourselves, by having a simple self-care routine, means we can then in turn look after our loved ones, our pets, our homes and let’s not forget gardens (if we are lucky enough to have a green space). When we GIVE in this way (to ourselves and to our environment) this makes us happy because we gain a sense of purpose and satisfaction. So keep giving but make sure you keep your own reserves as full as they can be! 🤗
What can you do, listen to, read or eat to make yourself feel nourished and healthy? Because what you put IN, you get OUT 💫
Let’s get AWARE of ourselves 👀 for #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek and see if we can improve those scores 👊 #YOUCAN #SMALLSTEPS
For some information on the science behind routines and mental health, click here for a post from psychologytoday.com.
Keep growing 🌱 You got this, Caroline ✨
Thanks for reading. If you’re interested in working with me then visit my Life Coach website here coachyourlife.co.uk
